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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes unsuccessful exercise in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed breakdown to the words gen Z is using to discuss romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A outing where two people connect while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly extinguish any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {